Rich Arabs

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Dear Rich Arab: The Airport Bartender

My name is Pim. I work in Schipol Airport at Bar in Schipol Airport. I want to fly outside my country. But my wage I can not go. Only serve drink to customer who arrive and depart. Working here at airport bar is like Christmas in submarine with everyone have connecting flight but me!

Before Eid begins I thought I would create one more reality for our lovely dreamers! So with pleasure I am pleased to pronounce Pim that you will not be serving drinks in Schipol this holiday season! Instead you and a friend are being issued tickets (coach) and accomodation (modest) to spend Xmas in Al-Jumhuriya al-`Arabiya as-Suriya! Al-courtesy of Rich Arabs!
So grab a friend, pack your bags, and be sure to write!
Veel plezier!

Monday, October 24, 2005

Dear Rich Arab: a new poor Jew

Ok, Rich Arab, my employer recently went bankrupt and I lost my job, my stock options and my public relations agency (which had been absorbed by my biggest client who became my employer.) At the end of this nightmare, I've lost everything (financially speaking.).
I need $100,000 to allow me to dedicate myself full time to finishing my first book, get it published and to keep my blog going and growing.
Make my dream a reality.
- A new poor Jew

Hi Jew, This is Sery, The Rich Arab's Online Technical Customer Service Representative. Please note that the Rich Arab is currently out of the office and will return after Eid. Thanks and Ramadan Kareem.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Dear Rich Arab: Sombrero Boy (sans Sombrero)

Frustrated by my last response or perhaps simply taken solace in writing an Arab this Ramadan season, our young friend from Tallahassee has written the Rich Arab once more and this time he shares this novel idea,

If youre so rich why don't you just buy Isreal
- still disgruntelated

Well my friend, I applaud your entrepeneurial spirit! However I regret to inform you that there are only 2 things the Rich Arab cannot buy, and Isreal is one of them. Let's just say that the commission rates of Isreali 'real estate' agents are murderously steep.

Monday, October 17, 2005

California Road Rage

This photo came from an obviously frustrated man from California. He writes,
"If your so rich why don't you lower 'dem god damn pricesRich Arab.... god damn costing me an arm and a leg to drive my new Ford E150 Club Wagon,... these god damn prices are simply unAmerican...god damn it!" - Phil Lerup, Bakersfield U.S of A.

Well Phil, your letter and unnecessary language catches me on an afternoon of fasting... for Ramadan... where I, too, can be a bit cranky. With that, allow me to illuminate something for you; I am not American. But rather a Rich, Rich Arab. Peace.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Conversations with a Rich Arab

Barbara Walters recently sat down to interview our dear friend King Abdullah. Now not suprisingly the King and I share a variety of interests not to mention offshore accounts. And Wow! is he one Rich Arab.

Perhaps what is suprising is that Barb and I too share a rich history. Some summers ago we would meet in the club house at the polo grounds in upstate New York. She would bring the honey and I, the baklawa, and together we would watch the horse and riders. Well done Barb!

Note: for those with Orbit Sat Receivers the interview will be 11:30 Riyadh-time this Thursday on 20/20, after Scarborough Country and before Dr. Phil.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

I received this image in my email today. I am not sure where this image was taken as the person who sent wrote in a languageforeign to myself, but WOW doesn't it look expensive!

Success Story: Rich Arabs Rule!

In Arabia we have a saying, a picture is worth a 1,001 words. Need I say more? Yes, your welcome.
Click here to see the original request "Dear Rich Arab: '74 Chevy Impala"

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Dear Rich Arab: Sombrero Boy

This dream came from a young boy in Tallahassee. He writes,

Can you please get rid of President Bush. I will pay you a dollar.
Sincerely, disgruntelated youth.

Well this certainly comes as shock, I happen to quite fancy G.W., he has done me a world of good. But regardless of either of our feelings President Bush cannot run for a third term, so be patient ‘disgruntelated youth’ and this Bush era will soon come to an end.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Dear Rich Arab: Record Label

This request came attached with an .mp3. And while hip hop is not my cup of tea I can say that myself and other Rich Arabs certainly appreciate the bling-bling if you know what I mean. A word of note to Wong, I have forwarded this to Adbullah X who may be able to better understand your dream. Keep it real!

Yo, Rich Arab, Shizzouts to ya. My name is Wong (a.k.a Da Hong Kong Bomb) and I am mackin' fo` some money ta start my own label. I hizzle mad skillz on the mic and I spin records real crunked like. Brotha, d-ya thizzay you can float me some cash ta get tis thang going and go from a zero to a hero? Hong Kong Bomb is about to explode if you getz what i mean! Props Rich Arab.

Thanks Rich Arab, this schnapps is for you!

This email arrived just last week from Sheila and Herman in Ohio. It is such a joy to receive these thank you emails! Now don't drink too much on that trip you two!

I thought your blog was a total joke, but last week my neighbor Betty (and best friend) came busting through the back gate hollering. She said that the UPS man was unloading a bunch of packages from the Middle East! Low and behold, when we openned'em up we found the complete his and hers Louis Vutton luggage set, and to top it off, it even had my our initials monogrammed on it (H.M. for him and S.M. for me)! Our summer trip to Germany is gonna be extra special and all the while we will be thinking of you Rich Arab! Thanks a million!

Send Me A Photo of the Gas Prices in Your home town!

Atlanta Georgia, October 7th Posted by Picasa

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Dear Rich Arab: Shwarma & Kupsa

I recieved this interemersting request from Shabbana last week. I've passed it to the her nearest Rich Arab (in Minnesota), and it looks like the good people of Alberquerqe, insh'Allah, will soon be eating plenty of shwarma and kupsa thanks to Shabbana, her dreams, and a Rich Arab.

Hi, my name is 'Shabbana Maamoul, I am an MBA graduate from New Mexico State. I want to set up an Arabic Cookery school starting here in New Mexico and spreading across every single state in the USofA. Including Alaska. This will help heal this futile rift between our cultures. Rich Arab, can you help?

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Dear Rich Arab: Gardens

This wonderful dreamer sent this request in. I am going to see what I can arrange. I happen to have many friends who have gardens attended to.

I love gardening, and I want to build a beautiful garden, something that will take over the world. Would you be intersted in lending your considerable financial support? I've seen books with those fancy Arab hotels and they have gardens and they like really inspire me. My parents have a garden but all they grow are vegatables and stuff like that. I also have plants in my bedroom and I water and take care and talk to them everyday and they are doing really well.

Dear Rich Arab: '74 Chevy Impala

This gentleman’s request caught me a little off guard. Why, are there not thousands of Chevy Impalas ravaging the streets of America? But then it struck me, no, it is here, right in the Middle East, that there are so many cars from the 70’s! I am happy to say that I arranged for a beige 1974 Impala to be delivered, it ships tomorrow!

Need a ’74 Impala.