I Hate Rich Arabs?

I got this email today from a new entrant to the blogosphere,

Dear Rich Arab,
I hate you. God damn gas prices are through the roof! I wrote you before but you and your cronies seem hell bent on some crusade to keep me from driving my Ford E150 Club Wagon! ... I hereby have started my own weblog looking to file a class action law suite to take down your anti-trust monopoly on oil. You have been warned.
- Phil Lerup Visit His Blog Here

Well Phil, you continue to impress me. Now allow me to impress upon you the following:

1. I too have a lawyer(s), take a look
2. Arabs much prefer Jihad as opposed to Crusade
3. My friends and I love your SUV

As a gesture of peace I have sent to you some gifts, and while not exactly the Texaco Credit Card you wanted, I do hope you find them inspirational. A gift for Him, for Her, and for the Dog. Keep on Truckin.
Peace.

Dear Rich Arab: Narcoleptic Syndrome

Dear Rich Arab,
I am a student at King Fahad University in Saudi. I am studying to be a rock scientist. But I am having some problems. I cannot stay awake in class. My teachers are begining to be angry with me. My friends make fun of me. But it is not my fault! I try hard to stay awake. I drink much tea & Powerhouse, and even eat raw sugar, but it does not help! I think I suffer from the Narcoleptic Syndrome. Can you help me become a Rock Doctor?

Well Dr. Rock, I certainly know how you feel. Even reading your email I had to take a short nap. When I was at Harvard I too thought I suffered from the Narcoleptic Syndrome. If it wasn't for my father buying a new wing to the law library I would probably still be asleep in class today! I have forwarded your name to a Eqyptian therapist in the area. Hopefully he can diagnosis the condition.
Now get some rest, Peace.

Success Story: Cinco de Mayo

Dear Rich Arab,
Mexico is special Habibi. I have only been here for 2 days and I have met some amazing people. Take a look at these senoritas! I have asked Jacaranda Gomez (i am looking at her in the picture) to be one of my wives. Its cinco de mayo, Today is night to party. This for sure.
Mucho Gracias for the trip,
Sr. Otaibi

Well Señor, this is joyous news! Have a tequila for me and be expecting a gift in the mail, I have sent you a "Rich Arabs Halal BBQ Apron," perfect for your wife-to-be. Peace.